In the river bank

Upon a time when things happen unquestioningly.

The stories of the two lovers.

Faith unquestionable

Jenny stood all the way at River bank waiting for the arrival of her love while he tarries, facing the reality of life with much disturbances, but never bordered.

Though forgotten that tarries may be blessing in disguise. The grace covered her still but no to the end, I mean to the opposite of the bank of the river, she thought race exceeds grace. Race is a journey of competition but grace a journey of fulfillment without competing. Truly Emmy came but she wasn’t patient enough more to be crowned.

The journey was long and painful but race did them apart without waiting for grace to bond forever

Though the journey may not be easy without Jenny but the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. He just needs grace to overcome.


About a year ago, I was in a quest for how enthuastic minds for greatness and fulfilment don’t often get the necessary results. I had a strong believe that if I can get a feasibility work then, the answer would be met. This took me to one of the tallest building in Nigeria, a twenty six storey building in western part of the country. Cocoa house was said to have been built as far back as 1965. Merely peeping through the window at the 25th floor I saw millions of people trooping out with different zeals of making things out for the day. The funniest was the roads were busy, shops were opened, offices for businesses were all at alert but upon all these I guessed something was wrong, people were not winning and fulfilled.

As I was watching, some questions struck my mind “why is the world still not a haven? Why is result not tantamount to desires? This is more or less than why is a talented athletic dont finish well?

Two teams always meet in football match, one wins and the other loses. Either of them can perform better in the subsequent matches depending on what they link pain to and pleasure to, as these shape their destiny.

The secret of success is learning how to use  pain and pleasure  instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life . if you don’t, life controls you.

These two major words Pain and Pleasure.  I call them Drives

What drives Donald Trump in his entire life? He said in his interview that he’s learned to achieve pleasure by having the largest and most expensive yachts, acquiring the most extravagant buildings, making the shrewdest deals. I guessed he linked his pleasure over things to extravagant materials and he kept on toiling to achieve that. What did he learn to link pain to? He said his ultimate pain in life is being second best at anything — he equates it with failure and his great drive to achieve came from his compulsion to avoid pain.

What will surely make the both teams win subsequent matches is how the teams simply use the drives. What the loser link pain of failure to and the winner link success of pleasure to.

The force controlling you now, if not careful it controls you for the rest of your life. 

Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure. Understanding and utilizing the forces of pain and pleasure will allow you once and for all to create the lasting changes and improvements you desire for yourself and those care about.

The race may not be won even when you start well not until when we understand the forces driving us and knowing vividly what we attach to the drives. Many attach drugs and alcoholic to pleasure and the goals vanish, many attach the zeal of not dieing in poverty to pleasure and succeed. Many attach much agony to pains and he tried avoiding the pains by wining.

What creates a hero, a heel, a criminal, a contributor, what determines the difference in human actions is a reason we attach to our drives. Everything we do, we do for a reason.

EGO; a killer disease of marriage.

I heard you saying Gosh! Why am I into this mess called marriage. He is not just understandable. I heard you saying if I’d known I wouldn’t have married him. Hear this “man is not the creature of circumstances; circumstances are the creatures of men.”  Pick yourselves back and never allow mistakes repeating itselfs.

You are both the result of what you created. Marriage should be an easiest and enjoyment course of life. However, I heard “EGO” a destructive tool of marriage.

I am the ruler and my opinion must be superior, uhm!. I heard you well. Moreover, he is not performing his fatherly role, so why should I be answerable to him. I pity for that home because the killer disease is taking over.

Did you even check yourselves well before you entered? I say here,

if you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in your life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.

Do you know man is born to live and not not to prepare to live. We should be in it to fulfill dreams not preparing evrytime in fulfilling dreams. Mistakes shouldnt continue repeating itselfs.

If you decide that it can work, if  you work together, I bet you it can work

One of the work of my great motivator, Anthony Robbins says and I quote ” 

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth–that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too”

Once you commit to wake up to your standard, then EGO vanishes.

EGO: a killer disease of marriage

I heard you say Gosh! Why am I into this mess called marriage, he’s too understandable. I heard you are saying I’d known I wouldn’t have married him. But here this “man is not the creature of circumstances; circumstances are the creatures of men

You are both the result of what you created. Marriage should be an easiest and enjoyment course of life but I heard ” EGO” a destructive tools of marriage. 

I am the ruler of this house and my opinion is superior, uhm!. She must be inferiror to me.  I heard you well. Afetrall he is not performing his fatherly role and why must i be answerabke to him. I pity, a disease ruining the homes

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 Did you even check yourselves well before entering into it. I say here if you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in your life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve


​Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” 

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Yes I concur to this great writer. People are devastating because of not being honest to themselves and specific on their goals. 

A reference point:

Hannah’s name meant “grace” or “favor.” The thing about Hannah that we know was the cause of great suffering was that she was barren. In the culture of that time, that was devastating. You see, God promised to bless his people when they were in the land, and one of his forms of blessing was children. *So, if a person did not have children—if a woman did not have children–and obviously Hannah was the one at fault, because her husband had children, that meant several things.*First off, it meant that it was a reproach. It was the kind of thing where all your neighbors said, “Well, there’s really something wrong with her, because if she weren’t a sinner then she would have children.” It meant that her personal worth, which was so dependant on her function, was diminished, because she did not function in the only way a woman should function: that was to give sons to her husband. Hmm! What a great trouble of the soul!!

But there comes a day Hannah understood a great thing that differentiate here andther. “T” the only difference and it signifies time. She understood it is time to be honest with herself in finding solution. She knew in her demands that there’s still something she honestly need to say while praying.

You see, Hannah had to come to a decision: was this status quo going to go on forever? Was she forever just going to see Peninnah having one baby after another and she having none; and was she going to be satisfied with that? Or was she going to make an all-out commitment to the Lord and go for broke? She’d come to the end of her resources, and so she comes before the Lord.  I think Hannah wasnt realised before that it was her fault not getting birth and not be honest and specific in her prayer. Because of her name meaning is grace but why the grace not sufficient for her. 

 See what she undergo when she realised. 

Sam.1:11 the words relate her emotional state with honesty. She no longer deceive herself. “O LORD of hosts, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me…..

Some of us, when we are the point of confusion we mumur instead of beimg honest and being sincered. We don’t think that something needed a change in our lives and need a thorough discussion by you, your spirit and your soul. I think it is time to check time, discover, be specific, be honest and leave them unsaid. Remember when you discover, you are liable to cover a wide range.

Be what you needed to be.

Val, a bridge or a wall.

You ​don’t marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without. Bridge and wall are both by-product of a cement, so also hatred and love are both by-product of val. Fast loosing the true foundation of val causes unending injuries. Val is a  foundation of everlasting joy among nations, neigbourhood, lovers, etc. But verily i say, val stands as a bridge or barriers depending on how effective and efficient we use it. It is not a day of vowing promises upon promises but a day of showing effectively its importance.

Is val a bridge?, yes it is. As it is called, val is a day of remembering and defining true affections, unending love towards our associates. Val bridges and mould the pillar of true picture of the world from ages. How it suppose to look like. A day of reconciling and valuing humans of our nature. Jesus shows the true meaning by carrying the cross. A day standing as bridge, a road that links associates, neighbourhood and lovers together to know the true meaning of the world. Make your day, home, life and environment fill of joy, love and affections. If its not working, !ake it works.

Is it a wall?, yes of course. Val can be a day where a step taking becomes an eternal regret. A day where the wall it produces among the so called lovers can simply be compared to the wall of Jericho that place embargo between Israelites and Canaan land.  Val is not defined around promises that can’t be fulfilled. But a day of kindness, love, affection and not a day with a sweet coated mouth of unfulfilled promises. With this, val is painted different colours which make it looses its taste even before arrival. To many, val is a significant of unwanted day they never determined to see once again. 

Why should the greatest day of refreshment become a reckoning day?. No it shouldn’t 

Take away the real story of val, the true love and see how the earth becomes tomb. Dont forget once the val looses taste every other days among friends, associates and lovers becomes a tomb.


Deborah was one of the judges of Israel during a time of oppression. She is called a prophetess and the wife of Lappidoth. The Lord spoke through her as she held court under a tree called “the Palm of Deborah” in Ephraim. The Lord also used her to set her people free and defeat the king of Canaan. Deborah’s story is found in Judges, chapters 4 and 5.

Deborah was Israel’s only female judge. Some scholars have suggested that her position as judge was itself a judgment on the weak-willed men of Israel. Because Israel’s men were unfit to judge, God chose a woman for the job, partly to shame the men who should have taken the leadership. Other commentators believe that Deborah’s role as judge was a sign of God’s comforting presence in the midst of His oppressed and downtrodden people. 

Lesson: if you refuse to carry and extend the glory deposited in you over others, many will be raised to discharge such. Stop wasting talent but embrace it.

When Deborah became judge, the Israelites had been subjugated for 20 years by Jabin, king of Canaan. The commander of Jabin’s army was named Sisera, and he had 900 iron chariots – formidable weapons against Israel’s foot soldiers (Judges 4:3). The Israelites were treated very cruelly by Sisera and his army, and Israel’s spirits were very low. Deborah describes the hardship of living under Jabin and Sisera this way: “The highways were abandoned, and travelers kept to the byways. The villagers ceased in Israel; they ceased to be” (Judges 5:6-7). In other words, people feared to leave their; traveling was very dangerous. 

Lesson learnt: your purpose and glory wasn’t meant for you alone but needs to manifest for those attach to you that 

Here is a man God has called but refuses, Barak. Every one just needs to listen and obey. Take up the tasks. Deborah was a mighty woman, a prophetess ready for anything provided it was ordered by God. She played important role in killing the warrior of Jabin king of Canaan, Sisera. But I will like to emphasis on the life Barak. Verse 6 says ” And she sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedeshnaphtali, and said unto him, *Hath not the LORD God of Israel commanded, saying, Go and draw toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun?”*

Before God told Deborah. Am sure he would have personally called on Barak but he intended of not hearing anything. My question: can God call anyone without giving him or her his assurance support. Verse 7 says “And I will draw unto thee to the river Kishon Sisera, the captain of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand”. What assurance do we need more than this. 

Yet, he was still scare about God’s assurance. This happen to many lives where they simply neglect God’s word because of the circumstances surrounding. This childish act lock many potentials and dreams in a cage of unfulfilling.

Lesson learnt: Many were caged by their mountains. Try to move the mountains, shift the base. Deborah face it and conquer. Face yours and it shall move. Unlock your potentials and purpose of being here.

Whole lesson learnt

Despite the circumstances surrounding, especially concerning the great warrior ” Sierra”, Deborah summon courage and face the mountain by ready for the war against Sierra and she won. Face your mountain and shift the mountain

Barak was a coward, upon all the assurance he was still scared. Many of us scare for mountain waiting for our manifestation so that it can move. But many saw mountain but could not overcome. What a pity!. Face your mountain and it will shift.


Whether we are satisfied or dissatisfied with our dealings in life, the utmost goal of majority of us is retirement. Though, we were born just to go through certain life rituals: find a job, get married, buy a house, raise children, change wardrobes, jobs or  careers, retire and then die. But, is that all?

Do we have a sense of personal purpose? Do we simply know why we were born? Did our reasons give us a passion for living?. Answer to my publication ‘ WHY AM I HERE?’. Yes we really need to have reasons for existence. Life is absolutely embedded with meaning. If we envisage only after working for years for gold wristwatch and a pension, then I say life is a tragedy in the making. We only know why we exist when we were meant to be going some where.

No matter how much money we gather, if we don’t have a clear vision of our race, we are truly poor. It is said that if we don’t know where we are going, any roads take us there. Unless you have a clear idea of where you are to go, the chances that you will get there are remote.

ARE YOU FULFILLING PURPOSE? Do you find happiness in discharging duties? are you truly there?

Myle  Munroe said “The poorest person in the world is a person of no dream”. 


#4. There’s no joy in victory without running the risk of defeat.

I heard you are boycotting failure. Let me ask, can anyone boycott being pursued by his/her shadow?. Capital NO. Therefore, no success without a failure/ defeat. Always keep in mind that loosing is part of a winning. When you fall down, get up and keep moving. 

It is by trying things you figure out how far you can go.

Don’t be afraid about failure or embarrassed by the failure. All you should care for is not to dwell in it. Be happy because failing is a signal to winning. 

However, a defeat or failure is difficult, painful, frustrating, leaves pieces of you destroyed on the floor and makes you doubt yourself – no matter your age. But never relent, see it as a necessary tool for unquantified success. 

Try it more, but in a new dimension, a new reasoning, a new ideas and with a methodology.